Foolish Games
by J. Marguerite
Summary: A sort-of continuation of 'Iris'. This time, however, from Devi's perspective when Johnny comes to visit.


A/N: Woo-hoo... I can't believe it... I got a review from someone I didn't even pester to at least read my first song-fic! I am so proud with myself! Anyway, after a day of thought (I'm easily distracted. Shuddup.), I've decided to write another. It's not really a "sequel" to my first song-fic, more like a... well, a continuation. So read it, and be proud I found a song I found suitable. Angsty-songs that aren't over-angst are so hard to come by these days.

Crappy disclaimer to make the rich bastards happy: I own nothing, except my brain... And I'm beginning to lose ownership over that, too.

A lock of rich purple hair fell down the pale cheek that was Devi's. Her forehead was pressed firmly against the cool glass of her window, making her shiver with cold. Splashes of crimson and ebony were splattered across her art-shirt, her fingers colourfully crusted over with paint. She had sworn she had seen her attempted-murderer-ex-boyfriend pass down on the street bellow her apartment window minutes earlier, yet now she wasn't too sure. He had stopped outside it about a month ago, and watched her. He looked so pathetic on the street below, and the girl couldn't help but admit it made her feel pity for him. 

  
_You took your coat off and stood in the rain,  
You're always crazy like that._

  
The storm outside her window crashed loudly with lightening, the rain splattering down heavy with big drops of water, causing her reflection to run, as if she was melting. Turning away from the weather that matched her mood, the young adult tried to concentrate on her artwork, and dipped her paintbrush into the tub of paint. She raised her brush into the air, and was about to draw a think line of black on the canvas, when there was a loud rap on the door. Lowering her brush down, she set it on the table, and gave a half-hearted sigh. Mumbling to herself that it better not be Tenna, she headed towards the door. 

  
_And I watched from my window,  
Always felt I was outside looking in on you._

  
Upon opening the door, she discovered it was not, in fact, her bubbly friend. Instead, it was the man she had thought about only a short moment beforehand. Her eyes bulged, her arm swinging the door shut with a loud bang echoing around her apartment. Johnny. Johnny-the-attempted-murderer-ex-boyfriend, to be exact. Pressing her back against the wall, a thousand thoughts whirled around in her head, trying to figure out why he was here. Devi realised it must have been him who had passed below her window. And it was obvious he was here to see her. He had begged forgiveness, and Devi had ignored him. And how he was here. 

  
_You're always the mysterious one with  
Dark eyes and careless hair,_

  
There was another knock on the door, this time softer, frightened, almost. Turning around, she placed her hand on the knob, forcing herself to turn it. Drawing in a deep, shakey breath, she pulled it open the tiniest inch, just enough so she could see him, and watch what he was doing. He looked much like she had remembered him- his body thin, his hair a mess. His clothes hung off his body, seeming to be a size too big, his boots the only thing that seemed to fit. Trying to remain calm, Devi demanded to know what he wanted. He replyed with a simple 'I wanted to see you', as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, although his voice was soft. 

  
_You were fashionably sensitive  
But too cool to care._

  
Devi gawked at him, her heart pounding roughly, her blood rushing up her neck, and over her face. Nodding, she unconciously opened the door a little bit further, her fingers clenching onto the doorframe. 

  
'You're looking well...' she said softly, her face down. The silence between them seemed to be endless, both of them staring at the same spot on the floor below them, their lower lips clenched by their teeth. Finally, Johnny opened his mouth to speak, as if he had chosen his words carefully. 

  
_You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
Besides some comment on the weather._

  
He began to apologise again, yet he seemed to stumble over his words again. Devi listened carefully, figuring she may as well let him finish before she either shut the door, or yelled at him. But, as he spoke, his topic changed from apologising about the weather, and a pigeon he had seen picking at something on the ground. Devi knew he was nervous. Why, she didn't know. After all, he wasn't scared about death, or murder. She could take it no longer, though, when he began to ramble about how he had thrown a can of Skettios at a dog. She grabbed his shirtsleeve, the door swinging open as she let it go. 

  
_Well in case you failed to notice,  
In case you failed to see,_

  
'How dare you come here,' she began, her voice low, and filled with a mix of hate and fear, 'and think you can go and start apologising, then move onto a stupid subject such as a canned food?! You fucking imbecile!' She stopped her insult short, and quickly moved away from Johnny, and into her home. She expected him to pull out a knife of some sort, and stick it into her chest. Instead, he stood there, silently, his lips pressed together, his hands folded delicately in front of him. Devi grew impatient, quickly. 'Well?' she hissed between her teeth. 

  
_This is my heart bleeding before you,  
This is me down on my knees._

  
She was about to continue her rant rampage, when she noticed a movement for the male. It was only tiny, yet she noticed it all the same- his lower lip had moved. It was like a twitch, or a quiver. A tremble almost. He was hurt. A low sigh escaped her throat, as a feeling of guilt overcame her. She felt the urge to wrap her arms around him, and hug him tightly against her chest. But she didn't... she couldn't. He would kill her, or at least wound her. Taking a step back, she gazed around the room quickly, before grabbing the nearest chair, and turning it towards him. 

'Sit.' she ordered. 

  
_And these foolish games are tearing me apart,  
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart._

  
She was absolutely terrified when he stepped into her house, every cell in her body trembling with fear. As he shut the door behind himself, she noticed he didn't have his bag with him, but that didn't comfort her at all. Johnny sat down on the chair, his hands folded anxiously in his lap. He resembled much like a young boy, waiting to be reprimanded by his school head master. Watching him for a few minutes, Devi edged very slowly towards the chair beside him. Seating herself down, she rubbed her hands together. The silence between them was almost deafening, like an empty hole where nothing could grow. 

  
_You're breaking my heart._

  
'Er, Devi?' Johnny suddenly spoke up, his voice soft, almost cracking. The sound of her name escaping her lips made Devi's heart pound harder, her breath getting caught in her throat. She turned her head to him, to show she was listening. The man seemed to be thinking; his brow narrowed in thought. He didn't continue his question, however. He merely just sat, and thought. 

  
_You're always brilliant in the morning,  
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee._

  
Devi watched him quietly, her lips pouting slightly. She wasn't going to admit she didn't find him very attractive. He wasn't handsome- more.... more beautiful, in his own way. And the way he sat hunched over his knees in such a shy way made him have a sense of innocence, no matter how many people he had taken the life of. His hair had droplets of rain in it, causing locks of it to be stuck together, and falling down his face. Her hand moved forward slightly, to pull a strand away from his eyes, yet halted when Johnny looked up at her. Devi's fear returned, and her hand dropped to her lap. 

  
_Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you.  
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones,_

  
She stood up quickly, and sidestepped towards the wall. Her eyes never lift him, as she watched him cautiously, to make sure he didn't come running towards her, his knife held high. Pursing her lips, she shifted towards the kitchen. Her hand pushed back her hair, which had fallen in front of her, face, her other hand motioning towards the kitchen. 

'Er... You want something to eat?' she asked nervously. Johnny just shrugged, and walked over to her. Devi stopped in her steps, her breath getting caught in her throat once more. She still loved him. As much as she hated to admit it, she did. As much as she feared him, she did. And as much as she wanted to forget her near-death experience, she wanted to pull him into a bruising kiss, which she didn't. 

  
_As I clumsily strummed my guitar.  
You'd teach me of honest things,_

  
Swallowing the lump growing in her throat, Devi took another step along the wall. Johnny followed her motions. 

'You want something?' she asked, trying to hide her fear with forced anger. Narrowing her eyes, she crossed her hands over her chest, mostly trying to hide her shaking hands. Johnny tilted his head to the side, his long fingers out straight. 

'Well, that means if you mean in a sense of food, or in a different manner,' he said, his voice strangely flat, without emotion. 

'I mean in general, including food.' Devi replied bluntly, trying to copy him. 

  
_Things that were daring, things that were clean.  
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean._

  
As Devi began to head towards the kitchen again, she felt herself getting forced back. Letting out a cry, she spun around to face Johnny. His hand was clenched around her arm, a look of desperation in his eyes. 

'_Let go of me!_' Devi screeched, trying to pry his fingers off her arm. Surprisingly, he did, his cheeks flushed pink. 

'I want...' he paused, as if unable to finish his sentence. 

'You want what?' Devi hissed. 'I only have Cheerios and a week-old muffin.' 

Johnny closed his eyes, his head hung low. 

'You. I want... you.' 

  
_I hid my soiled hands behind my back.  
Somewhere along the line, I must've gone_

  
She stared at him in surprise for a moment, before turning her back on him, and entering her kitchen. 'Well, sorry, dear Johnny, but I cannot allow that. I do hope you're not a cannibal, because the whole trying-to-kill me thing turned me off you.' That wasn't completely a lie. More like a... bending of the truth. But it didn't turn Johnny away from her. He followed her into the kitchen, and rested his hand upon the bench top. 

'And I've tried to apologise for that... It won't make up for it, but I still... can you at least look at me?!' His voice rose in a crescendo as she busied herself with pulling a mug from the cupboard. Looking over her shoulder, her eyes narrowed into slits of emerald. 

  
_Off track with you._

  
'Look at you?!' she repeated, throwing the mug at him. Johnny jumped to the side, as it smashed into a wall, breaking into a scatter of pieces. 'How can I without remembering that night? I almost kissed you, and then you turn on me and try to turn my guts into haggis? I... I cared for you- loved you!' Devi paused as she caught her breath and grabbed another mug. Johnny's angular features softened slightly as he ran a hand over his shaved scalp. 

'I know.' he whispered, his eyes closed. 'And you don't know how much I regret that...' 

  
_Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else,  
Somebody who gave a damn,_

  
Devi sighed, and leaned against the bench top. 'I know, I know.' she whispered, her voice breathless. She pressed her head into the palm of her hand, shaking it slowly, cursing under her breath. Johnny watched her, shifting his body towards her, as if in slow motion. 

'Devi... I don't know what else to do. I've apologised over the phone, I even tried to apologise in person... I can't... can't keep doing this. But I can't _not_ do this, either. Please... Please forgive me... And I'll go...' 

  
_Somebody more like myself.  
And these foolish games are tearing me apart,_

  
Looking up at him, her face moulded into one of utter want. She wanted to forgive him, she wanted to forget what happened- she wanted him to be her boyfriend again. And she wanted to kiss him. He walked closer to her, his face lowered, yet his eyes on her. He looked like that schoolboy, again, and Devi almost laughed, her lips twisting into a small grin. Yet she stopped herself quickly, her lips moving into an almost sultry pout. He was so close... he was in arms length- she could just wrap her arms around his neck and pull him into the kiss she was longing for. 

  
_And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.  
You're breaking my heart._

  
If he took one more step, Devi swore to herself she would do just that- she would forget what he had done, her fear, and she would lose herself in a single kiss. Begging silently, she stared at Johnny, her breath coming out short and sharp. _Come on, Johnny..._ she thought to herself. But he didn't answer her call. His shoulders slumped, and he turned away. 

'Where are you going?' she asked loudly, her voice sound surprisingly fierce. 

'Out...' he replied. 'You... You'll never forgive me. I was stupid to think you would.' Devi's shoulders slumped, her eyes filling with longing. She watched him leave the kitchen, and listened to her front door close. Never had she felt so much yearning. 

  
_You took your coat off and stood in the rain,  
You're always crazy like that._

A/N: I do hope you like it. I don't think it's as good as my first song-fic, but I couldn't really find a song to match my idea. Please review, whether you like it or not. Flames, however, will be used to burn the person who gave it. Mwahahaha... That, or I'll stab you with my pencil.


End file.
